What is Marriage? (Wk 3)

This week’s readings were all about the Supreme Court’s recent ruling that same sex marriage is a right protected under the constitution. Reading the ruling and the dissenting opinions was eye opening. I felt sympathy for the plight of the petitioners when I read the ruling, but I also understood where the dissent was coming from. 

Those who are in favor of same sex marriage assert that the right to marry is part of a person’s individual liberty and it is not ok to deny someone of that right. They also argue that marriage is good for children, and therefore gay marriage is a good thing as well when there are children involved. Another argument for gay marriage involves the fact that marriage bestows its participants with certain governmental privileges, such as inheritance rights, being able to be listed on a spouse’s death certificate, insurance benefits, and legally sharing parenthood of a child. One of the most compelling arguments is that gay people do not want to devalue marriage, in fact they are seeking the ability to marry because of the high respect they have for the institution. 

Some of the stories presented at the beginning were very alarming to me. I had no idea, for example, that in states where same-sex marriage was not recognized, only one partner could be listed as a legal parent for any children in the relationship, essentially leaving the other in the lurch if they were to die. That didn’t seem right to me at all. Of course both partners should be allowed to be listed as legal parents! In truth, I felt that all the claims to governmental entitlements due to marriage status were valid. 

In the Supreme Court ruling, those who dissented also had very compelling arguments. First of all, they felt that the decision about whether to allow same-sex marriage ought to be decided by the people, and not by 9 unelected judges. I would have to agree. One quote from Justice Roberts I particularly liked was “Closing debate tends to close minds. People denied a voice are less likely to accept the ruling of a court on an issue that does not seem to be the sort of thing courts usually decide.”  Justice Scalia said there was danger in this ruling because it was sending a message that “an institution as old as government itself, and accepted by every nation in history until 15 years ago, cannot possibly be supported by anything other than ignorance or bigotry….and any citizen who does not agree with that, who adheres to what was, until 15 years ago, the unanimous judgment of all generations and all societies, stands against the Constitution.” This is already a serious problem that we are seeing in our world. Anyone who speaks out in favor of traditional marriage is labeled a hateful homophobe (as evidenced in this article I recently read about why we should all be boycotting Chick-Fil-A)

Justice Alito also spoke about the danger of losing religious liberty (a right specifically protected in the Constitution) when he said, “I assume that those who cling to old beliefs will be able to whisper their thoughts in the recesses of their homes, but if they repeat those views in public, they will risk being labeled as bigots and treated as such by governments, employers, and schools.” We have already lost some religious liberty, as evidenced by religious adoption agencies being forced to close their doors because they were not willing to place children with same-sex couples. 

Another common theme in the dissent was that allowing same sex marriage is actually redefining the very word of marriage. I think that is where the major hang up is. I think there are many people who are not so much against gay rights as they are against the redefinition of marriage. The idea of marriage and what it stands for has been in existence since the beginning of civilization. And it has always been defined as between and man and a woman. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we believe that God has sanctioned this definition of marriage and we continue to stand true to our belief that this is what marriage is. However, we do not wish harm upon our LGBTQ brothers and sisters and we want them to be as free as possible to pursue their chosen lifestyle, with all the rights and privileges that can possibly be given. 

In a 2014 BYU Commencement address, President Russell M Nelson said “God is the Father of all men and women. They are His children. It was He who ordained marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Marriage was not created by human judges or legislators. It was not created by think tanks or by popular vote or by oft-quoted bloggers or by pundits. It was not created by lobbyists. Marriage was created by God!”

While it remains to be seen how same-sex marriage will affect marriage as an institution, the development of children, and society at large, we are already seeing how it is affecting religious liberty, and it’s not so good. We have to be able to stand for our beliefs without being vilified. I have wonderful friends in same-sex relationships, raising children in a loving manner, and I have no desire to take that away from them. The truth of the matter is, they have fought so long for their rights, and those individuals need to be willing to continue to allow the opposition their rights as well.